We walked through a high hallway
into a bright rosy-colored space,
fragilely bound into the house by French windows at either end.
the windows were ajar
and gleaming white against the fresh grass outside that seemed to grow a little way into the house.
A breeze blew through the room,
blew curtains in at one end and out the other like pale flags,
twisting them up toward the frosted wedding-cake of the ceiling,
and then rippled over the wine-colored rug,
making a shadow on it as wind does on the sea.
(chapter 1)
I think you could get a better picture to describe your poem.
ReplyDeleteI think you had a typo in the beginning. "Tom's" not "Tom''s". Other than that it was pretty good.
ReplyDeleteThe hallway was described red, the hallway in the picture is white. Choose a different one next time?
ReplyDeleteThe picture was of a hallway and that is what my poem was about i think it is the best picture for the poem
ReplyDeleteyeah that is true i will next time thanks!!
ReplyDeleteJuan yeah i noticed that next time i will read it before i submit it
ReplyDeleteOverall it's ok there's some grammical errors and the picture doesn't really represent the poem/paragraph.
ReplyDelete